I came across this hilarious prequel to “10 Things to Wipe Your Butt With in the Woods” on one of my favorite online mags, Adventure Journal. This article was written by Brendan Leonard who also runs the blog, Semi-Rad. Adventure Journal’s editor, Steve Casimiro, has allowed me to give you a taste right here on TO. Check out the first few “techniques,” then head over to AJ for the rest!
There’s pretty much one way to poop indoors: In a toilet. No real room for creativity. Or at least functional creativity. Outdoors, though, the world is your canvas. Dig a Leave No Trace six-inch hole and make yourself comfortable. Here are seven different strategies, of which we can recommend five. Actually, just four.
1. The Squat
The original outdoor stance. Just like it sounds. Dig a hole, put your butt close to the ground, and make the magic happen.
2. The Tripod
Sometimes more comfortable than the plain old Squat, this is when you dig a hole, squat over it, and place a hand behind you for stability. It’s definitely a more active position and probably safer if you have any reservations about your, um, solid waste getting on your shoes or hiking boots – the Tripod puts your bum farther south of those north-facing feet.
3. The Tree Hug
If the roots cooperate, you can dig a hole close enough to a tree, and if the tree’s not too big around you can wrap your hands or arms around the trunk for support as you squat over the hole and rock it out…
(Check out the comments, too. There are some funny stories.)
When you are “finished” be sure you know what to do next by enlightening yourself with: “10 Things to Wipe Your Butt With in the Woods”
And… I promise the next article I post will not be focused on “body processes.” No guarantees after that, though.