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10 Things to Wipe Your Butt With in the Woods

UPDATE:  MARCH 2020…  In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve begun to see how misinformation and media hype can cause unnecessary panic…  e.g. Stores are completely sold out of toilet paper!

tp empty shelves
Photo credit: Sam Finney. From krcw.com

So, to ensure we don’t take ourselves too seriously, please consider the following 10 options if you missed out on the initial “Hamsterkauf” of paper products.

And then, to ensure you are taking this pandemic seriously enough, please take a look at this well-written article on Medium that helped me understand what we were up against and why it matters- even to young, healthy people.

Stay sanitary and keep your distance, my friends

-JWa

This post spawned from a lively discussion during a weekend climbing trip to the Katsu-dake crags in Okinawa, Japan.  I must say that I have had many similar conversations, but this discussion, in particular, was quite in-depth.  A special thanks to the Okinawan climbing community for the inspiration!  I’m sure you are proud.

Disclaimer:  Some of the items listed are not necessarily “Eco-friendly.”  You are not a child.  If you use an unorthodox wiping material, then pack it out in a ziplock or poop-tube in accordance with local procedures.  No one wants to come across a nasty old sock with remnants of you all over it.

Impro
Photo by Justin Watters

Toilet paper, and my personal camping favorite- the baby wipe, are like the comfort food of sanitary products.  We get so used to using them in our day-to-day life that it is nearly impossible to imagine what to do without them. Here are the facts:  1) You have to eat food to keep your energy level up.  2) Your body processes that food, and must dispose of the waste.  3) It is not healthy or comfortable to “hold it” until you find some porcelain.  4) If you hang out in nature long enough you will eventually find yourself unprepared and without the standard-issue material to clean up afterward.

So…  Just what should you do?  What can you use to wipe your butt in the woods?  The most important thing to remember is not to panic.  Take a breath, turn your “woods-eyes” on, and you will probably find something that will work just as well, if not better than the real thing.  The second most important thing is to think of this before you settle into that  perfect little tree-well, not during.  Here’s 10 solid alternatives, listed in no discernible order: Continue reading 10 Things to Wipe Your Butt With in the Woods